Lump: Escape to Lump Mountain. Part One: The Rise
Originally conceived in 2012, Lump is a celebration of the young adult phenomenon. It clumsily uses tween sexuality and pregnancy in an artistically irresponsible manner to shed light on the human condition. And blowjays.
High
School was difficult for any freshman with Jessica’s hairy arms. Her bowed
shoulders, hard-sloped brow, and wrinkled knuckles lent the appearance of a startled
ape which had scurried from life’s cradle only to find itself trapped in a
gauntlet of emotional pitfalls and marketing campaigns a sadist named public
education. The wide-set girth of her hips were offset by plastic glasses tucked
under pigtails the color of turds her brother brought in from the pastures,
caked in the stink of fermented cheese and the promise of escaping the now.
She
had waited, as so many other marginally deformed children do, until the rest of
the class was changed and playing outside before dressing in her Nulo High gym
shirt and shorts. Jessica stood with her acid-washed rhinestone jeans and playful
rhinestone top in her locker, dangling her new sports bra by one strap like a
dead animal she found on the street.
Puberty
never was a merciful beast, but it seemed to take a particular delight in
cursing young Jessica. Blooming from two little ant bites apparently overnight,
the poor girl now had two fuzzy-nippled teratomas dragging down her spine. Of
course, the boys noticed – and Jessica didn’t mind. Few girls still in braces
with areolas as wide as hers could boast the same number of fans, even in the swampland desolation of Nulo, Texas.
Sighing,
Jessica snapped the corset under her sagging back flaps and adjusted the band.
Unbeknownst to her, a timid girl with blonde hair and a man’s jawline crept in
from the showers. She wore her hair in a ponytail which perfectly showcased her
oversized ears and bony face. Her diagonal, gapped teeth chattered anxiously as
she lurched in, one skeletal limb extended in front of the other.
The
slender little girl wore an oversized Christmas sweater her aunt had painted for
her, with a red pom-pom for Rudolf’s nose and miniature strand of lights
wrapped around the antlers. The felt holding the battery pack scratched against
her skin, but it was the only sweater large enough to conceal the wriggling bulge
on her side.
Jessica
hummed her favorite boy band’s latest hit, “Gurl I’mma Non-Threateningly Intercourse U,” while the interloper skulked through the locker aisles. As Jessica finished the
last bar, throwing her shirt over her head, the girl whispered, “Jessica.”
Jessica
closed her locker.
“Jessica.”
She
turned to leave.
“Jessica!”
Jessica
spun, “Oh my gawd, I didn’t mean to run you over, why are you back for revenge
– Stephanie? Girl, you scared me!”
Stephanie
lurched over to the bench and sat. Jessica trundled over and sat down next to
her, “You need to get dressed, don’t you know what day it is today?”
Stephanie
stared back with a blank face, her sallow lips pouting while the mound under
her sweater quivered, “Monday? Patriot Day?”
“It’s
trampoline day!”
“Jessica,”
Stephanie sighed. “I have more to worry about than trampoline class, okay?”
“What’s
wrong?” Jessica rested one of her gorilla paws on Stephanie’s shoulder. “You
know I have your back, girl.”
Stephanie’s
sweater jiggled. “Well, I have this… that is, I had my date with Chad last
night…”
Jessica
gasped, mouth stretched so wide that her thin mustache was less visible than
usual, “Chad Kroeger? Graduated last year and goes to Nulo Community College
Chad Kroeger?”
Stephanie
grinned at her accomplishment, not many girls with her bony chest and elbows
could snag a college man – community or collegiate.
Jessica
slapped her thighs in excitement, “Hung like a donkey and pounds like a freight
train Chad Kroeger?”
“The
same.”
Jessica
tucked her face into her chin in the way she thought made her seem quirky and
endearing, with the pursed lips of a duck or platypus. In reality, it made her
look like a frustrated donkey. “What did you guys do?”
Stephanie
rolled her eyes, “Oh nothing, we just watched The Tween Vampire Rape Sage –
Part 1: Part Two. He fingered me while I cried.” She sighed as though she hoped
to keep that memory forever.
“Aaaaw.” Then Jessica squealed, “Oh my
gawd, it is sooooo dark.”
“I.
Know.”
Jessica,
mouth agape, leaned in and whispered, “Did you guys…do it?”
“Ew
now, skank!” Stephanie recoiled, “We laid in each other’s arms while the Arcade
Fire sang about Abraham’s Daughter.”
“Aaaaw!”
“I
know, it was really romantic. He’s a
great guy, spread the word. Like seriously,
don’t even get me started, it was so sweet. We’re totally dating now; don’t tell anyone.”
Jessica
leaned in, “Did you get his number?”
Stephanie’s
head sank, “That’s actually what I wanted to talk about…when I woke up this
morning he was gone.” She reached down and tugged the sweater over her head,
“And when I woke up I had…this.”
A
brown lump; a throbbing, hairy football attached by a sucker to Stephanie’s
left side pulsated. A rotten yam latched to her ribs, quivering lips pulsing as
the polyp sucked. Thick, rough hairs sprouted from moles and pimples dotting
the palpitating hunk of meat.
“Holy
god!” Jessica screamed. She cupped her paw of a hand over her mouth. She stared
at the lump. Her eyes widened and the wad jerked in response. “What is that?!”
“Don’t
tell anyone!” Stephanie whispered, “I haven’t told anyone yet.” She pouted. “At
first I thought my boobs were coming in, but I think boobs are supposed to be…”
The
angular girl looked down at the little balloon. It wriggled. “…higher.”
Jessica
cringed, “Is it… is it infected?”
“I
don’t know, girl – it’s something!” Stephanie sulked, “I just… I’m really
scared and lost right now. I don’t know what to do – can you keep it a secret,
girl?”
“Girl,”
Jessica smiled, “your secret is safe with me.” She stood, gym shorts bunched
between her wobbling thighs, “Now what do we do about trampoline class?”
“I
don’t know.” Stephanie whimpered, her coy pride at her scandalous affair
diminishing with each writhing tug of the drooling gob on her. “Should I see
the nurse? Do you think she can do anything?”
“She
could start.” Jessica clomped over to the locker room door and shouted at the
gymnasium, “Coach!” She paused. “Coach! Stephanie can’t do trampoline class
today.”
Stephanie
heard a mumble from the outer room, muffled by the squeal of jumping children on
the trampolines and fatter children playing video games on the bleachers.
“Because
she’s sick. … Yea huh! … Like seriously, her vagina is bleeding!”
Stephanie
gasped but Jessica shooed away her concerns with a gruff wave of the hand,
“Yea, like everywhere! I’m taking her to the nurse, get three buckets.”
Jessica waddled back
to the bench, “It’s cool. Let’s go out the back way though, girl.”
No comments:
Post a Comment